These times are beyond a roller coaster. We’re on an intergalactic cosmic bumpy ride, bouncing around from one crisis to the next.
Recently I’ve written about 10 reasons and resources to laugh, why making a difference is so crucial right now, with my ‘Love letter to the world’ (part one, two, three and four),’ and how to find your balance between stopping and hunkering down and forging ahead and taking action.
Today’s post is in the same vein.
As someone who lives in a country other than my passport country, and as someone who took a flying leap to move my family here to Kenya, I’m very familiar with ‘foreign.’
Much of the time, people around me are speaking a language that I don’t understand.
And those nighttime noises in my backyard of twitters, screeches, hoots, and howlers?
I frequently have no idea which critter is making them.
(This doesn’t include when I’m on safari, where I’ve learned to distinguish between zebras, lions, elephants, and hippo calls, for example.)
This got me to thinking about our familiar: foreign ratio.
How much “foreign” do you have in your life and how much “familiar”?
I’m sharing some signs and signals for when and why it’s time to rest on what’s familiar and when and why it’s time to reach out for what’s foreign to you.
Let’s begin with Foreign.
Foreign
Definition: “Something can be described as foreign to a particular person if they do not know about it or it is not within their experience” (Cambridge Dictionary).
When we’re stressed, overwhelmed, scared, etc., we can retreat into our familiar shells and fob off any sense of ‘foreignness’ because it feels like too much of a stretch to do otherwise.
The issue with this, though, is too much same ol’ same ol’ makes innovation wither while the chances of being in an echo chamber radically increase.
Reaching out to the unfamiliar, seeking out differences doesn’t have to be hard.
On the contrary, it can and should be delightful and fun.
It should help you feel expansive, adventurous, and with a lovely, enriched worldview.
It should contribute to DEI efforts as well. (Speaking of which, check out my year-long DEI project here.)
My family and I at a Holi celebration.
Here’s a chart to help you pinpoint if you’re feeling funny with “foreign,” what the actual benefits of deliberately seeking out “other,” and some simple ways to expand into diversity.
| Signs of feeling a tad too “familiar” and a need for more “foreign” Are you feeling… | Benefits of “foreign” – why seeking out “other” is great | How to overcome fear of foreign and expand into diversity |
| A lack of adventure | Gets you out of your comfort zone | Read a book by an author from another country/culture |
| Bored | Opportunity to expand your worldview and perspective | Listen to a new-to-you genre of music |
| Not stretched | Gets you energized | Watch a movie or listen to a podcast from another country/culture |
| Not growing | Challenges you | Join MeetUp or Eventbrite and attend a gathering you normally wouldn’t |
| Not learning | Adventure! | Join Lunch Club and meet some new folks |
| Stuck in a rut | Growth | Volunteer for a new-to-you cause |
| Dull | Inspired and inspiration | Take a course on a new-to-you subject through LinkedIn Learning, Aga Khan Foundation Learning Hub, the Learning and Development Roundtable, etc. |
| Too much routine | Expands your critical thinking skills | Invite a diverse group of folks for dinner and watch the magic unfold |
| No “spice” | Expands your community | Go for a walk with a stranger |
| Too safe | Learning +++ | Celebrate a new-to-you holiday |
Familiar
Definition: “Easy to recognize because of being seen, met, heard, etc. before” (Cambridge Dictionary).
Familiarity is great.
It gives us nourishment and comfort.
We can sink into what’s familiar and feel comforted by the ‘known.’
Familiarity is great.
Until it’s not.
Until the comfort of ‘known’ precludes leaving (mentally and/or physically) the bubble of an echo chamber.
Here’s a chart to help you pinpoint if you’re feeling a tad TOO comfy by signs of “familiar,” what the actual benefits of familiarity are, and some simple ways to expand into familiar if you’re too much in foreign land.
| Signs of feeling funny with “foreign” and a need for more “familiar” Are you feeling … | Benefits of “familiar” – why seeking out your comfort zone is healthy | How to overcome too much “foreign” and not enough “familiar” |
| Uncomfortable | Things are known | Hibernate for a little while |
| Stretched +++ | You can focus in general because you’re not trying to figure out something wildly different | Do a familiar ritual, something you may have forgotten over time |
| Fearful | Comfortable | Seek out old friends |
| Overwhelmed | Things are generally clear | Reread a favourite book |
| Confused | Productive: you’ve got lots of routines in place | Rewatch a favourite movie |
| Mistrustful | Restful, signal/signs are understood without question | Reread your old journals |
| Frightened | Relaxing | Celebrate a traditional-to-you holiday |
| Questioning | Peaceful | Cook a comfort meal. Then, eat it with flair; set the table with gorgeous place settings, light a candle, etc. |
| Yearning to flee | Calm | Get quiet. Rest, meditate, sleep, pray, etc. |
| Desire to retract and retreat | It’s easy | Get creative. Make art, listen to music, dance, etc. |
Me practicing what I ‘preach’ and dancing
Think about your precise place at the moment with your familiar: foreign ratio.
Too much familiarity? Too much oxytocin? Not enough adrenaline? Then dip into the foreign tips and add some adventure.
Conversely, too much foreign? Too much adrenaline? Needing a retreat? Then move towards your familiar and add some comfort and relaxation.
Enjoy the balance.
Enjoy moving up and down the familiar: foreign continuum as your life and lifestyle dictates.
Enjoy familiar and foreign you.
Now go on and learn, laugh, and lead
Learn
- If you need some more ‘foreign’ – Take a course on a new-to-you subject through Linked In, Aga Khan Foundation Learning Hub, the Learning and Development Roundtable, etc.
- If you need some more ‘familiar’ – rest! Try doing nothing for 2 minutes and/or pick a radio station from wherever you wish in the world and give it a listen.
Laugh
- The dangers of getting a little too familiar with a routine and getting in a rut.
Lead
- Speaking of balance, grab your spot now for the May 15th Learning and Development Roundtable Tips and tools to increase your work life balance / integration and, even better, invite a colleague and/or friend.
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