Breakthrough Strategies: Four Tools to Resolve Any Conflict, Part 2

Image provided in order to provide a chuckle or two when it comes to conflict and culture

I was talking to a dear friend a while ago.  She’s an incredibly bright, very successful professional who manages a massive budget, a big team, and, in addition to all that, she works and lives interculturally, away from her passport country.

If you put a problem or challenge in front of this person, she will overcome it with panache.  She’s resilient and kind and huge-hearted.

But she’d hit a wall.

She was facing a conflict at work.  

With a dude.

A dude who didn’t respect her, most probably because she is a woman.

We chewed over a few options for moving through, around, and over the conflict.  

Which made me think you might find the options helpful as well.

Breakthrough Strategies: Four Tools to Resolve Any Conflict

Here are four tools to help you when you hit a wall with conflict. I covered two in a previous post,  fight/flee/flow and will/skill, and now, here are the other two. 

1. R.I.S.E.

What is it?

This is a tool I designed to ensure structural/systemic issues are involved in addressing conflict.  Structural/systemic issues are those related to policies, procedures, cultural norms, laws, etc.

When we don’t take into account structural/systemic issues, we can quickly burn out and blame ourselves.  “Why can’t I fix this?! I just have to work harder!” This kind of self-talk can hide some really serious, deep-seated structural inequities that we blame ourselves for.

It’s the pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of thinking, when boots aren’t equally or justly available.

R.I.S.E. is a way to brainstorm possible ways forward based on four categories involving two continuums.  The continuums take into account your individual efforts and structural issues and more.

Here are the two continuums:

Revolution ←—–> Evolution

Individual ←—–> Systemic or Structural

Revolution – these are big, bold ways to effect change and resolve conflict.

Evolution – these are quiet, subtle, small ways to effect change and resolve conflict.

Individual – these are things you and those around you can do as an individual; you’ve got the control, the agency.

Systemic/Structural – these are things that are embedded in policies, laws, procedures, cultural norms, etc. They’ll take up more time and energy to change.  You’ve got some control and agency, but not 100%.

Put them together, and you’ve got four possible categories to let your imagination roam and brainstorm options for moving the conflict forward.

Pro-tip: This is a brainstorming tool to explore options.  Don’t let your inner critic squash ideas before they’ve had a chance to bloom.  Let ‘er rip.

1. Revolution + Individual = big bold change efforts by you, the individual
2. Revolution + Systemic/Structural = big bold change efforts aimed at institutional change
3. Evolution + Individual = Quiet, subtle, small change efforts by you, the individual
4. Evolution + Systemic/Structural = Quiet, subtle, small change efforts aimed at institutional change

When to use it

When you need some inspiration for responding to the conflict, some ideas to toss around, and blocks to squash.

2. Is it time for AA (it’s not what you think)?

What is it?

This is a tool I designed when I was facing a tough conflict with someone who had no desire to address the conflict or me.  I felt discouraged and really upset, like my hands were completely tied.

Ergo, this tool.  Only your behaviour and actions are under your control.  So here’s a tool to help you with an attitude adjustment (the AA aforementioned).

It’s fun if you can shush your inner critic and let your ideas flow.  It uncovered some very different ways to look at the same situation.

When to use it

When you feel blocked and need to uncover some alternatives (and find some hope in the meantime).

Conflict can definitely make us feel helpless and hopeless.  The next time you find yourself feeling that way, turn to one or more of these four tools to help you feel more helpful and hopeful.  From the will/skill matrix and fight/flee flow to how to R.I.S.E. and get an A.A., I promise you there’s more cause for optimism than you’re currently feeling.

Now go on and learn, laugh, and lead

Learn

• Pick a tool and practice using it.

Laugh 

• Conflict can make us blind to the obvious, like these cantankerous critters.

Lead

• Share the tools with a friend and/or colleague and spread the hopefulness and helpfulness.

P.S.

• Have a burning topic of yours that you’d love to share with the world? Check out my Transformative Trainers Academy – for game changers like you who want to learn how to design and deliver world-changing workshops that wow.  Join our global online community membership program now.  We’re waiting with open arms.

P.P.S.

• Are you a UN staff member wanting to brush up on your public speaking skills in a way that’s actually fun, enjoyable, and leads to a marked difference in your confidence?  I’ve got you.  I’m giving a two-part workshop on March 24 and 25, 9 am to noon EAT.  You can find more information here and email unon-hrlearning (@) un.org to register and get information on cost.