Resources from the UN Ombudsman: How to Handle Conflict: 5 Strategies for Maintaining Respect and Dignity Part Two

Last week I shared Advice from the UN Ombudsman: Ten Temptations to Violate Dignity Part One.  This week it’s all about five strategies for maintaining respect and dignity.

If you haven’t read part one, check it out now.  It includes a really helpful distinction of the difference between dignity and respect.

We invited the United Nations Regional Ombudsman to give a workshop during a multi-day team building I did recently with a global UN team. 

I wanted to share with you some of what she covered.

1. The simple difference between respect and dignity (in the part one post)
2. Ten temptations that violate dignity (in the part one post)
3. Five practical actions to help you have a conversation when someone’s behaviour is upsetting you (below, in this post)

Ready?

Five practical actions to help you have a conversation when someone’s behaviour is upsetting you

1. Pause, then approach

• Remember those claws we talked about at the beginning of this post? Pausing will help you put away your claws.

2. State the facts

• I know it’s hard but your heart will have a chance in a second. For now, focus on the facts.

3. Describe the impact

• This is where your heart can take centre stage.  Briefly talk about how the conflict has affected you, including emotionally.

4. Explain your motivation

• Give the person the benefit of the doubt. They may not even know there’s a conflict. Explain why you’re bringing it up. Hot tip: make sure you know the answer first!

5. Request a behavioural change

• Be specific and ask for a change in behaviour (not values or personality). 

Death and taxes may be inevitable but so is conflict. 

Focusing on enhancing dignity, while avoiding the ten dignity traps and taking action with these five specific steps will help you put away your claws and get back to being fabulous.

Now go on and learn, laugh, and lead

Learn

• Check out the UN Ombudsman source document this information is from. You can find the Take Five information here (which includes a link to download the brochure).

Laugh

• Taking action mindlessly can look hilarious when you pause to stop and look. Like this pooch. Randomly stop the video and have a laugh..

Lead

• Contact me if you’d like a workshop for your team on conflict resolution, feedback fallacies, or more.

P.S.

I’m thrilled to invite you to my TEDxWestlands Salon on the theme: The Lifelong Learner’s Playbook – A Critical Success Mindset You’re Ignoring on Saturday, October 5th, 10 am to noon EAT at Westgate Cinema.

If you’ve not been to the TEDxWestlands Salon before they’re wonderful. We’ll watch two short TED talks on learning and then I’ll facilitate a 45-minute discussion.

If you’re in Nairobi, please grab your spot now and bring a friend (or three). 

Tickets are free (tho donations are welcome). More info and the link to register are above.