Blocked, stumped, and stopped from doing the things you love?

What’s your motivation level like lately?

Do you have some things you’d like to be doing but find yourself blocked, stumped, and stopped?

There are some sweet, simple things I love to do but I noticed I wasn’t doing them.  

Enter some space for some more research on motivation.

And a radically altered perspective.

Now that I’m about three weeks into trying my newfound tips, I’ll share my learning with you.

Motivation

It’s a huge topic.  I’ve written about it before, including discovering your motivation style.

When I stopped to think about my state of motivation, I realized I could break that umbrella-like, all-encompassing term into four stages.  

When you read about the stages below, take a moment to reflect on where you might be stuck.

Four stages of motivation

1. What to do; I asked myself if I was clear on what I wanted to be doing.  In this case, I was. I wanted to be practicing the piano, meditating, painting, and doing yoga more frequently.
2. How to start; I asked myself if I was clear on how to start.  I had some great insight here.  I was stuck.  It felt overwhelming and frustrating figuring out how to get started with a more regular practice of each.
3. How to continue; I asked myself if I was clear on how to continue once I started.  I was fairly clear but realized I could use some help.  So I did some research into habit-tracking apps which I’ll share with you.
4. How to stop; I asked myself if I had clarity about how to stop.  In this case, I’m hoping these habits will be pretty permanent so it didn’t apply but it may apply to your situation.

I know my motivation style (link to the survey below) includes being an achiever so I was doubly frustrated about my lack of progress.  As an achiever, I get lit up by crossing things off my list and achieving my goals.

I wanted to learn more about how to bridge the gap between “I know I should but I don’t wanna”

I was curious about the “friction” – a wonderful concept I’ve recently discovered via Shankar Vedantam’s Hidden Brain Podcast on Success 2.0, The Obstacles You Don’t See (stay tuned for a future blog post about that).  Friction focuses on things that stop us, that hold us back.

I came to focus on demotivator styles.  I’d always looked at things to motivate myself and others.  This was the first time I looked at things that sapped motivation.

Here’s a list of things that can demotivate you.  Which ones do you relate to?

• Context – what’s your current context?  I realized mine was related to going 150km/hour during my work day and then (not surprisingly) just wanting to veg and Netflix binge in the evening, which went against my desire to do art, practice the piano etc.

• Fear – is there something you’re fearful about?  If so, name it and thank your fear for trying to protect you and bid is adieu. 

• Wrong goal – are you trying to motivate yourself to do something that’s actually not right for you?  Pro tip: pay attention to signals your body may be sending you about said goal.  Is your stomach or jaw clenched when you think about said goals for example? The body knows.

• Lack of clarity – are you having a tough time motivating yourself because you’re fuzzy on what you’re trying to achieve? If so, get specific.

• Fuzzy next steps – maybe you’re clear about your goal but you’re fuzzy on the specific next steps to take. If you need help with this one check out my 3D process.

• Value conflict – this was a big one for me.  If you feel like you’re being pulled in two different directions, acknowledge it!  For me, my value of being creative was in conflict with my value of resting. Acknowledge your internal struggle, and even make two columns to describe each value and its pull on you.

• Lack of challenge – is your goal too easy?  A lack of sufficient challenge can definitely put a damper on motivation.  Get in the right zone, the proximal development zone that is.

• Grief – are you suffering from some source of grief that’s affecting your motivation?  Be tender with yourself dear reader.

• Loneliness – ditto loneliness. Feeling alone impacts motivation. I was delighted when a loved one, who was struggling, asked me to call at a certain time to help ensure they left home that day.

• Burnout – burnout is another common culprit and demotivator in our fast-paced world.  How are you with regard to burnout?

Once you’ve looked at what may be holding you back (the demotivators above), let me let you in on a little neuroscience.

How are motivation, rewards, and action related?  The answer might surprise you.

I was surprised to find out that motivation comes AFTER action.  Yep.  According to Emma Mcadam’s wonderful video  “How to get motivated and stay motivated,” the cycle looks like this:

Notice where motivation is placed.  AFTER action.  In other words, it’s only after we take action that we feel a sense of accomplishment or reward, and that then leads to motivation.

So the stage was set for me to increase my motivation, decrease my demotivators and get on with painting, piano, etc.

Did I do it?

Stay tuned for part two and my Tada list including how I used an app to help me.

Now go on and learn, learn some more, and lead

Learn

• Discover your motivation style and how to work with it part one and two.

Laugh

• We all need a little help and motivation to get up (or even down) hills like this wee little baby elephant.

Lead

• Share your insights with a friend and/or colleague and let your motivation take you to the moon.