I adore being a learning and development specialist. Being with people. Lots of people. Different and diverse people.
And with them, creating a process that unfurls the heads of confusing question marks into tall and proud exclamation marks. I get it! I never thought of it like that. That’s why my (insert your choice of: boss, partner, friend, colleague here) does that.
I also adore being alone.
Learning and development is my passion.
And, at the end of the day, I look forward to some quiet, alone time.
Learning and development is what I’d do even if I didn’t get paid (the true litmus test).
Learning and development also feeds a reverse need in me for being solo. For restoring, for hibernation, for seeking and finding caves, for soothing stillness, for calm. I’m a better trainer, partner, mama, friend and all-round human when I’ve had some solo time.
My proclamation –
- Being alone is not a synonym for being lonely.
- In this busy, frenetic, crowded world of ours seeking solo is not a sickness.
- It’s in fact yin to the yang.
- When you’re happy in your head, alone is [more] than ok.
- Being an introverted trainer isn’t an oxymoron, in fact it’s a gift to my participants.
Sound weird to your ears? Here are some lessons for how to be alone.
P.S. I get a delicious little thrill knowing that Tanya Davis participated in a training I did some years ago.
Sam Crespi says
Having alone time not only made me a better mother, it taught my then toddler daughter the benefits of alone time which she has carried into adulthood.
When she was very young, I was an exec in the movie business keeping long hours plus a 45 minute commute each way. Arriving home, I was often tense, exhausted and not ready to engage. After several attempts to find a way to ‘be’ with her when I came home, I finally said ‘I’ll be a better mom if I can have a few minutes in my bedroom behind a closed door. At first, she didn’t like the idea, but then something wonderful and amusing occurred. It was on the 3rd try, she stopped knocking/barging in. I emerged from my room where I’d been meditating, and her door was closed! She peeked out, and said “I’ll be a better daughter if you give me some time alone.” Picture my double take here. She’s successfully used this practice to enhance her own life which is as busy now as mine was then (and still is!)
Lee-Anne Ragan says
What a wonderful story Sam. Thanks so much for sharing. What a daughter you have- she obviously has your genes.
I so relate to the contrast / the switch between working & being mama. It can be jarring, one minute juggling workshop design for a client & the next helping my son sew a badge on his cub uniform. And this on the cusp of my second meditation class tomorrow night. Now if only I can figure out how to work it into my life regularly.